Getting ready....

I'm stealing a quick moment in between loads of laundry and the like. It's days like today, that I'm not sure if I want Josh to go to pre-school yet! Although, every other day, it's all I can do to not wind the clocks faster - as if it'll help move time forward quicker - or push him out the door!

My baby is "helping" me, fold laundry, pick up toys and is singing in his little sing-song voice, about twinkle stars and bunny foo-foo's. :D Makes me smile.

I think the separation will be harder on me than on him. I've only ever been away from the boys on quick overnighter's and my (2) week long stints in the hospital. Now though, I feel as if I'm standing on the edge of a precipice and preparing to make the jump from which there is no return...!

Once the jump is made, it's official. My baby's days are over and the life of my 'little boy' begins. Actually I call him my 'little brown boy'. :) (Anyone made the connection from which book I got that nickname?! LOL - Not to leave Matt out - I call him my 'little blonde dandy' both names totally appro-po if I say so myself, and I do...)

It's just in the quiet moments like this, where I can actually hear myself think and reflect, on the life he's (Josh) had thus far, and the things still left to teach him, and how quickly the time has flown thus far and will surely continue to fly....and where I start feeling the itch to adopt another child, though it's not in the cards for us for another few years. :( This is also the part where I almost feel a primal urge to go grab my soapbox and start proclaiming to everyone out there that has the ability to have children - to not take it for granted!!! To just remember that there are those among you who'd trade your aches and pains of pregnancy and labor, for just a brief taste of that privilege!

Alas, it wasn't in the cards for me....! But I do have some mean papercuts from all the paperwork of adoption! And....! I have two of the brightest, shiniest, most wonderful 'stars' that were sent to Stann and I to raise! And this, is also where I interject (in a good-proud, happy, but not completely boastful way) that while I may not have had the ability to be a Mom spontaneously, someone out there (our wonderful kids' birthmother!) thought I could do the job better than anyone else. :D That makes me smile a little. Sorry. Probably too boastful, but I couldn't help it...!

And as for right now, I think I'll go sing with my baby - he's moved on to greener pastures, and I'm sure he'll need a back-up singer and extra hand puppet for his rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Enjoy your mothering moments, my dears! :D