The post really describes itself. Here in the park (where we live with my out in-laws) in the beautiful town of Boring, there lived a squirrel.
[Okay, you got me. Technically there are a lot of squirrels, but for the purpose of this story, we'll go with what I wrote - but I digress!]
Ahem! There once was a nutty squirrel who had a death wish. For reasons unknown to me {a human} said nutty squirrel has a death wish...(maybe he no longer wants to gather nuts for the winter...? maybe his wife left him for another squirrel down the road that had a bigger tree and more food...? maybe he likes to live life on the edge with extreme squirrel sports...I don't know..!)
But...whenever I drive my cute little car down or up the big arse hill in our park this squirrel waits on the side of the road and then as the distance between my car and him on the side of the road decreases....
He BOLTS! Right out in front of me!
The first time it happened....I was all like "Stupid squirrel! Get outta the road!" and just mumbled under my breath as I went about my merry way.
Then, I noticed a pattern.
* It happens 9 out of 10 times I'm entering the park.
* It only happens to me. Not Stann. Or Kathie. Or Chrissy.
And the majority of the time it happens as I'm headed down the hill...it's like an alarm goes off - and away he scampers! Down from the safety of his tree, or rock or wherever....and across the road he scampers! My interactions with the little twerp have led me to believe the following:
1. He does it on purpose. His little squirrel ears are attuned to my car and out he comes runnin' into the middle of the road.
2. He really does have a death wish or is an adrenaline junkie. Either way - this behavior is extremely hazardous to his health - and he could do with some little squirrel happy pills to bring calm to his equilibrium.
3. He is now dragging his little squirrel buddies along for the ride....
4. He has a radar and KNOWS when my trunk has groceries in it...and it makes it extra fun when I have to stomp on the brakes...
The pictures are blurry, I know. But there's now an APB on this crazy little nut.
[Okay, you got me. Technically there are a lot of squirrels, but for the purpose of this story, we'll go with what I wrote - but I digress!]
(see the little booger? he's the blip in the middle of the road)
Ahem! There once was a nutty squirrel who had a death wish. For reasons unknown to me {a human} said nutty squirrel has a death wish...(maybe he no longer wants to gather nuts for the winter...? maybe his wife left him for another squirrel down the road that had a bigger tree and more food...? maybe he likes to live life on the edge with extreme squirrel sports...I don't know..!)
But...whenever I drive my cute little car down or up the big arse hill in our park this squirrel waits on the side of the road and then as the distance between my car and him on the side of the road decreases....
He BOLTS! Right out in front of me!
The first time it happened....I was all like "Stupid squirrel! Get outta the road!" and just mumbled under my breath as I went about my merry way.
Then, I noticed a pattern.
* It happens 9 out of 10 times I'm entering the park.
* It only happens to me. Not Stann. Or Kathie. Or Chrissy.
And the majority of the time it happens as I'm headed down the hill...it's like an alarm goes off - and away he scampers! Down from the safety of his tree, or rock or wherever....and across the road he scampers! My interactions with the little twerp have led me to believe the following:1. He does it on purpose. His little squirrel ears are attuned to my car and out he comes runnin' into the middle of the road.
2. He really does have a death wish or is an adrenaline junkie. Either way - this behavior is extremely hazardous to his health - and he could do with some little squirrel happy pills to bring calm to his equilibrium.
3. He is now dragging his little squirrel buddies along for the ride....
4. He has a radar and KNOWS when my trunk has groceries in it...and it makes it extra fun when I have to stomp on the brakes...
The pictures are blurry, I know. But there's now an APB on this crazy little nut.
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