I'd like to plead "Insanity by Motherhood", please....

Ugh!!! OK...I confess...I have completely been ignoring my blog. Somewhat on purpose, somewhat because I've been going "insane"! Here's a brief "catch-up" as to what's been happening around our house. And I'll be jumping around (date wise) - also note, these are in no way ranked in order of trauma....


* April 5th. I turned 32. YUCK. The only thing that is making me feel REMOTELY better about it, is the fact that my sister Diana turns 30 this year and has to join the "STANOF" club. ('Sisters that are now old farts'). We'll (LeeAndra, Sarah and I)be inducting her new membership on July 29th, as soon as she hits 30.




* For my B-Day present, Stann took the boys and I to the Oregon Zoo. We had a pretty fun day. We covered ALL the zoo in 3 hours - Matt had his "monkey" pack on (aka LEASH) and we had a great day playing in the sun, riding on the tractor, and identifying all the animals. The boys did GREAT....afterwards we went to Lloyd Center (I haven't been there in YEARS), had lunch, window shopped and just enjoyed time together as a family.

* April 17th - Stann is currently taking his test at Clackamas County Sheriff's Department. I am currently fasting for him that he'll have good luck and great results.

* Saturday night (the 12th) I gave Josh his first hair cut. He had a TON of old man "wispies" and I buzzed them off with hair clippers (not very much hair taken off the top!) on the longest setting with my longest guide. He looks a TON better if you ask me - although Kathie and Stann said I shaved him bald! SOOOO not true! But it is one length for the most part - and doesn't look like he's trying to have some baby comb-over swirled all over his head!

* Monday night (April 14th) Matt surprised us by standing on the couch (BACKGROUND....there are only a few shows my kids watch. Sesame Street, Elmo, Barney and occassionally Bob the Builder - coupled with "Hammers" that he and Josh watch with Stann (aka "Ask this Old House", "Holmes on Homes", "HomeTime" and "This Old House" episodes - where they "fix" stuff up - and Matt and his Daddy identify every tool) So, Matt gets up on the couch, stands up, throws his arms out and screams at the top of his lungs "I'm Super-Man!" and then jumps off. SOOOO BOY! He then climbs up again amid our laughter, and throws his arms out and yells "Matt-Man!" and starts singing the Batman theme song "na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na....Matt-Man!" And I'm NOT quite sure where he got that from?!??? But he's right on schedule for doing all things "BOY".

*SIDE NOTE: This weather we've been having SUCKS. I mean it. The rain is seriously making me depressed. It had better start showing signs of summer SOON. I cannot take being stuck in my little house anymore. I'm starting to lose all desire to play and clean. I'm not quite catatonic, but the weather needs to change and FAST.

* April 6th - Matt ALSO found out recently (which had Stann in hysterics) that he could move his private parts up and down, by moving his hips and proceded to lay on the couch while we're trying to put a diaper on him after a bath and then narrated to his Dad "It goes up - It goes down". I'm soooo not ready to be the mother of a BOY! Let alone TWO! And to think it will be repeated again in a year....EEEK! We are now trying to ignore/downplay what he now finds to be soooo funny by gyrating around the room like Elvis.

* April 12th - Matt also has recently found he can open up my dryer. He took an ink pen (BLUE) and a pack of gum and stuck them into my dryer. I didn't think to open it - he ran away when I went into the laundry room telling him to get out of the dryer (My 1ST CLUE...!) I turned the dryer on and VOILA! I opened up my dryer to find two seperate gum deposits by the dryer paddles.....and puddles of blue ink in my dryer, ruining our clothes. It took me 3 tries with Mr. Clean magic eraser and acetone nail polish remover to get SOME of the ink out. The gum is still there - hardened and I can't get it off! I've even checked cleaning websites - and put more than ample amounts of elbow grease and I CAN'T GET IT OFF! I have to confess - I cried that night. It was book club night. I had sooo wanted to go out. Instead, after I got kids to bed, I went to Fred Meyer and had minor retail therapy, roaming aimlessly through the store. I bought a loaf of bread, some milk and I found a $44.00 white leather purse that after my coupons and discounts, ended up being $13.90. That, and a bath later helped me get the scowling lines off of my face.

*April 14th - I also found my dear sweet Matthew in his room with scissors....! Background....I went to the bathroom (maybe 2 minutes?!), and during that time, Matt went into the kitchen, FORCED open the junk drawer, grabbed the scissors and went into his room. When I got out of the bathroom I was immediately stunned by the quiet of the house. I called out for him but he didn't answer (clue #2), and I looked in his room and there he was, cutting a chunk of hair (from the front no less!) with the scissors. I am proud to say, I didn't yell, spank or scream in frustration. I calmly took the scissors away from him and then explained those weren't for him - and if he wanted to cut something, he needed to ask Mommy first.

*AND last but not least, last night Matt gave Josh his first black eye. Pics will come later. He and brother were fighting over an old X-Box controller and Matt whipped the cord around and it hit his brother on the right side of the eye. It bled A LOT - but no stitches were required. He's gonna have a shiner though!

These few things have had me lying on the couch with a blanket, reading a book during those brief moments of alone time.....almost in the fetal position!